umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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