i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
