I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
