We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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