How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
