awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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