I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
