I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
