You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize