I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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