Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
