the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Randomize
