I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
