so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize