Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
