when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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