im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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