So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
