I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize