If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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