Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
