why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love having hate sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
