from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
