Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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