Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
