Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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