Christians are straight up FREAKS
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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