this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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