She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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