No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
honey bunches of taint.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
