you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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