yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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