Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize