Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize