I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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