I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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