One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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