Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
