Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
