I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize