Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
