are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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