I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Terrible idea I love it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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