Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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