hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
