Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
