I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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