so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
