VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
