I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
