Moan for me like Helen Keller
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
