i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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