What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
