think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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