I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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