If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
