I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
