I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
