I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize