wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
