i just wanna soil my oats bro
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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