Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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