So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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